Bisexual first.

My first Bisexual experience is no an original one. I have heard many stories along these same lines. I was in first grade. My best friend at the time was sleeping over. We were on the fold out bed from the couch in my living room. We had been watching a movie, she fell asleep first.

I crawled over to her on the bed and stared down at her face. She looked beautiful to me. I moved some of her hair out of her face and had the overwhelming desire to kiss her. I fought it off and finally went to sleep.

It might sound strange to some though, having such urges in first grade. I would argue that we are all sexual beings whether we realize it or not, and we pop out the womb with all the parts to have sex. Its just a matter of time and place as to when we use these parts. I started having sex at 14. My current boyfriend didn't start having sex until 24 (sorry hun!).

Who knows though, maybe I'm just a weirdo...

Thought process: Religion and Abortion.

I've been reading a lot of religious, and Atheist material lately and I wanted to share a thought process I had which is going to take away from the 'Tri-Bi' experience for a bit.

Most antiabortion people are religious. Some of these people who claim it is wrong claim so because your killing an 'innocent child'. Let's put aside the child part and concentrate on 'innocence' shall we? By my observation, there is no such thing as innocence in most christian denominations.

Example one: Sin's of the father.

According to some of the things I read, you carry down the sins of your ancestors down the line. Meaning if your great great grandfather was a murdering psychopath, your eternal souls been marred and you need to constantly pray for forgiveness in the eyes of the lord. Even if you somehow never sin during your own lifetime. Wouldn't this then mean any fetus resulting of this psychopath in any stage of the pregnancy be carrying his sins? There fore, not innocent?

Example two: Rape and Incest.

I also believe I've read somewhere that a child born of rape and/or incest is automatically born into sin. Yet there are people out there who believe aborting even in those instances is wrong. Not to sound repetitious, but if being born of rape/incest= being born of sin, how is the 'baby' still innocent?

And finally, Example three: Original Sin

Do I really need to say more about this one?

This was merely a thought process I had that I felt I should get out there. I'm sure there are plenty of religious people out there who would be able to contest this somehow. I just simply don't see the mere excuse of (once again) it's an 'innocent child', anywhere near an efficient enough argument for me.

*NOTE*

I probably should have cited the articles, books, scriptures, and what have you. My internet is very limited right now and when I saw it was working I jumped at the opportunity to write this. I will try to post my sources at a later date.....

Bi-Racial: Full 'circle'

(I've decided I'm no longer going to number the parts. I don't know how many parts this will take and I'm still figuring out the lay out of things. From now on I'm just going to name the subject and a title.)

*me, my brother, and my sister (I look fat...)*>>

My father has three siblings. Two of his siblings have the same mother and a different father. the third 'sibling' has the same father as the two siblings and a different mother. I have two siblings. My brother and I have the same parents, my sister is from my dad and his first wife. Half siblings run rampant in my family.

This is another thing in my life I never thought much about. But later on when you have conversations about your family at school, or work, or with the family of your significant other, thins can get hairy.

When I tell a story of my sister disobeying my mom and they respond with the line; 'well she brought her into this world, she can take her out right?' having to be like 'well actually....'

Or, starting a story with 'my sisters mother' and getting looks or people demanding an explanation.

Another funny thing about this is if I mention one of my siblings have a different mother and don't say which one, and they see my siblings pictures or see them in real life (not a lot of people have met my sister.) They guess the wrong one.

My sister and I both have thick dark hair, dark narrow eyes. Big smiles that our eyes disappear in. Different from me she has light freckled skin. My brother on the other hand has blonde, curly hair, hazel eyes, and a different skin tone.

It's interesting...

Bi-racial, PT.2

Growing up I was called all kinds of racial slurs. Everything from 'Nigger', to 'Spic'. I was called these insults because people couldn't place me, couldn't tell what I was. My mother telling me I was 'American' was not enough for theses people. 'Come on what are you? Indian, Asian? C'mon you can tell me!' But the thing was I couldn't.

My families past is shrouded in mystery, A mystery I have still not unraveled to this day. Well my father's side anyway. My mother's parents are 100 percent German. More specifically they descend from the Ostrogoths, a Germanic tribe that intermingled with the Huns during the times of the Romans.

On my father's side I can hardly go back to my grandparents without there being instant confusion. I found out later in life that my father was born to his mother when she was only 16. She married a man who was not his biological father in an effort to not be 'cast out' by society seeing as teen pregnancy was looked down even further upon then than it is now.

The confusion goes even farther back. We don't know who my grandmother's mother was. My Great Grandfather was in the navy and from what we knew her mother had died fairly young. All I knew later on is that my grandmother was effectively not white. Not sure what or how.

I gave in after awhile to the questions and the names and simply accepted the title of 'Asian'. Deciding that if I had to pick any race to stick with Korean, since for some reason that's what the first guess normally was. That way I could just answer with, 'Yep your'e right!' and not have to go into further explanations.

Bi-racial, PT.1

I remember when I was a kid when I first got the question. I was in Kindergarten. I was over a friends house from my the class playing with him. We were in the backyard when he suddenly asked, "Are you Chinese?" I remember not knowing how to answer. I don't know what I ended up answering but I remember wondering about it for the rest of the day.

I went for a walk with my Mom the next day to the park. On the way back I asked her, "Mom, am I Chinese?" My mother answered with a shrill shocked, almost offended tone.

"No! Of course not! Why would you think that?" I explained about my friend, pointing out that I liked Chinese food as evidence that he might be right, and she shook her head. "No, your not Chinese, your American."

I tried to accept that answer but I had a strange feeling in the back of my head. Somethings different. The rest of my life, up to and including now; coworkers, classmates, teachers, and even complete strangers on the street, have asked me what I am racially. So it wasn't an easy thing for me to ignore.

Even without those questions, I couldn't help but notice the differences. Hanging out with friends and seeing their white skin, then looking at my tan arms, my narrow eyes, versus the round eyes. And eventually the jokes started. Sooner or later my group of friends started spouting Asian jokes and I started to accept them.

(PT. 2 coming soon.)

The reason behind the name.

Bi-racial.

Alright this part of the name is a bit of a fib. 'Bi' essentially means two. I have more than two races behind my mix. If I shorten it though it basically goes like this; white and not-white. So I say it still counts.

Bisexual.

Unless you've been trapped in a cave you should know what this means. I have the advantage of being attracted to both male and female. Though according to my mother this can't be true.

Bipolar.

This is the name of one of the multiple mental illnesses that are floating around my brain.

So together they equal the name of my blog; Bi-racial, Bisexual, and Bipolar (Tri-Bi for short!).

Not much for a first post I'm afraid but I gotta start somewhere!